Stock up on ammo

The invasion is starting!

"The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission said the monkeys apparently escaped their island home by swimming across a pond -- something they're not supposed to be able to do."

Next thing they are going to say is don't worry, their not dangerous!

"Officials said the social but calm Patas monkeys are no threat to people, but the search will continue until the remaining monkeys are captured."

Sure they aren't a threat, and they aren't supposed to swim either! RUN....Run for the hills.

Somehow I dont think we should put them on a diet.

At least we can run away from them when they are fat!

They are evil and they WILL try and take over the world some day. Mark my words!

It really is all about the monkeys!

Damn things are smart, too smart. Mark my words, they WILL take over the world!

This is HOT!!!

Even if it is from those damn dirty apes!

It has officially started!

The monkeys are trying to take over. They have started by killing our political leaders!

I have been warning you!

This is the first part of their bid to take over the world!




(A note to all the monkeys and apes out there, I am really on your side. I am just trying to infiltrate the resistance and take them down from the inside. Please don't kill me.)

I know TR has to be behind this some how, some way.

Quite possibly the best monkey commercial of all times! Okay, it is a gorilla, but still.....

See I told you they were evil!

Kenyan monkeys make 'lewd signs' at women

Gichuki Kabukuru, a spokesman for Kenya Wildlife Service, said it was well known that monkeys and baboons have a penchant for harassing women rather than men, and even gesturing at them and touching their own private parts.

What type of rude "gesturing" do you think the monkeys were doing?

Wow, I cant believe this.

First here is the background:

The head of a Plano school district facility that houses exotic animals said Monday he fears for his professional future there after saying he believed that a local pet owner was having sexual relations with his rhesus macaque monkey.

and a little more info

"I don't have sex with my monkey. That's absolute crap," Mr. Crawford said. "Why would I do that? I gave him an audiotape, but it didn't have anything like that on it. It said, 'I'm coming home, I'm coming to get you. Daddy's coming, he's coming to get you,' " Mr. Crawford said.

Mr. Dunlap said that he made a "gross error" and that his interpretation of the tape was just that – his and no one else's.

"I interpreted what I heard and saw in my own way, and I can't say that's correct. It's just me, what I think. I can't argue with Mr. Crawford about what he meant," Mr. Dunlap said. "I took it on surface value about what he said. I just don't want to deal with it anymore. He may be totally honest and right in what he thinks about the way he sounded."

Someone in this story has a problem. I will let you decide who.

Remember, it's all about the monkeys!

A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo. She was wearing a loose fitting, pink dress, sleeveless with straps. He was wearing his usual jeans and T-shirt. As they walked through the ape exhibit,they passed in front of a large, silver back gorilla. Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy. He jumped on the bars, and holding on with one hand and 2 feet he grunted and pounded his chest with his free hand. He was obviously excited at the pretty lady in the pink Dress.

The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny. He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom.

She played along and the gorilla got even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.

Then the husband suggested that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin. She did...

And the gorilla was about to tear the bars down.

"Now... Show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him," he said. This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy, and he started doing flips.

Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage, flung her in with the gorilla and slammed the cage door shut.


"Now. Tell him you have a headache."

Thats it, game over dude....

We are doomed, doomed I tell you!

Killer Chimps Make Spears, Hunt Bushbabies

The researchers saw 10 different chimps fashioning spear-like tools to forcibly jab at nocturnal primates known as lesser bushbabies (Galago senegalensis), which sleep inside hollow branches or tree trunks during the day.

After their attacks, the chimps sniffed or licked their weapons, as if to see whether or not they shed blood.

"I was flabbergasted," Pruetz said.

Previously, researchers had spotted one chimpanzee using tools to flush out mammalian prey, specifically employing a branch to rouse a squirrel.

However, Pruetz and her colleague, Cambridge biological anthropologist Paco Bertolani, saw something far more complex. The chimps routinely broke off branches, trimmed them of twigs, leaves and bark and sharpened the tips of their spears with their teeth.

There was just one successful attempt in 22 recorded instances of the chimpanzee hunts with their spears.

"Still, this involves significantly less energy than in chasing down monkeys, so it is not surprising that it evolved," Pruetz said.

Run away, run away! This is just practice for when they make their bid to take over the world!

Good Quote

He may not have been thinking of this blog but it fits!

"It's like fifteen drunken monkeys with a jigsaw puzzle!" - Dilbert

And it even references monkeys. DRUNK MONKEYS!

Even Carreer Builder

has had enough. I have been warning them about using the evil monkey hordes!

I have been negligent

If you hate cleaning the bathroom, Judy is for you!

Keeper Ann Rademacher says Judy went into the bathroom, picked up a toilet brush and cleaned the toilet. Rademacher says the 37-year-old Judy was a house
pet before the zoo acquired her in 1988, so she may have been familiar with
housekeeping chores. Judy wrung out a sponge and scrubbed down the fridge.

I still don't trust her, she is a evil primate after all.

This, is how my little brother happened! Well except he isn't a chimp and we knew who the father was!

SHREVEPORT, La. (AP) -- In a mysterious bit of monkey business, a female at a chimpanzee sanctuary has given birth, despite the fact that the facility's entire male chimp population has had vasectomies.

Now managers at Chimp Haven are planning a paternity test for the seven males who lived in a group with Teresa, a wild-born chimpanzee in her late 40s who had the baby girl last week.

Workers have started collecting hair samples from the chimps for testing. Once they identify the father, it's back to the operating room for him.

Several chimps are in hiding!

Thanks Josh

We have to stop the Evil Monkey Hordes

A new Report Defends Experimenting on Monkeys

LONDON - There are strong scientific reasons for British scientists to continue research using monkeys in "carefully selected research problems," especially when it is the only way to save human lives, a committee of experts said Tuesday

I have been saying it for years now. We have to stop the evil monkey hordes before they kill us all! How can we fight them if we don't know how to kill them?

Evil Monkey Hordes

are overrunning New Delhi! Are we hopeless against this new menace?

Rouge Monkey

Kudos to Concert Josh for finding the Rogue Monkey story!

Smarter then... well the average Monkey!!

Apparently Apes and fire alarms don't mix!!

Evil Alien space monkeys have invaded the earth!!!

And I have photographic proof right here:

The Monkey God!

You too can see the incarnation of Hindu monkey god Hanuman.