Masked Marauders

The household had an unwanted visitor Saturday night. A raccoon meandered up onto the back porch and spent about a half hour looking for something to eat before pillaging the neighbors garbage. Being a from West Virginia, my first thought was "I am gonna get a new coon skin cap!" My wife convinced me otherwise. The conversation went like this.

"Ahhhhh...Did you see that?" - Wife

"Yup, keep your eye on it." - Me

"WHY!!!" - Wife

"I am gonna go upstairs and get the .22" - Me

"You can't shoot it!" - Wife

"Sure I can, Its only 10 Ft away. I can pop it between the eyes from here." - Me

"But what about the kids?" - Wife

"Oh, yeah, I'll make sure they get to watch." - Me

"No, I don't want them to see it!" - Wife

"Why not, how else are they gonna know where my new cap came from?" - Me

"I cant believe YOU. We live inside the city limits. You cant shoot here the neighbors will call the cops." - Wife

"So, It will be over before the cops can get here." - Me

"Do you want to sleep inside or outside tonight?" - Wife

And with that the raccoon got a reprieve.