Okay, just to let you know...

Thing #1 started complaining about his ankle hurting him. Being the wonderful father I am I told him to man up and deal with it until it started swelling up and then I took him to the emergency room. They found a what they think is a "unicameral bone cyst" in his heal. The scary part is that the orthopedic surgeon keeps talking the big C word and then saying he doesn't think it is the big C word. Anyway, the cyst is getting bigger and not smaller so Thursday, we take him in for a bone graft. That way he wont shatter his heal when he acts like a mad man. This whole thing has been a pain in my @$$ and Thing #1's ankle. Anyway I hope things get back to normal soon.

Worse thing I can think is that the cadaver bone came from an evil person and Thing #1 ends up with a zombie foot.

???????

Could it be?

Things are looking up!

Sometimes the kids make me proud!

I love to embarrass my wife. The kids love to embarass her also. This was one of the times when the three of us did a good job of acting like fools and embarrassed the wife to no end.

We getting into the car after church Sunday along with hundreds of other parishoners when the following was said:

Me - I feel like yelling at you!

Thing 1 and Thing 2 - OKAY!

Me - ARRGGRRGGHH!!!

Thing 2 - RRRRRRR!

Thing 1 - ERRRRRRR!

Me - Whoooohooooo!

Thing 2 - Weeeeeeee!

Thing 1 - MONKEYS!!!

The look from the other people in the parking lot was priceless. I bought the kids donuts for their fine performance.

Now that is a party!

$20,000 in fines and at the end, he comes up with a great business opportunity!

I always loved

Calvin and Hobbes!

And a family tradition continues!

My children continue to make me proud.

Thing #2 and I had the following conversation:

Me - What are you doing?

Thing #2 - Looking for something to drink, my stomach hurts.

Me - What did you eat?

Thing #2 - My candy.

Me - How much did you eat?

Thing #2 - All of it.......

Me - Why don't you lay down until you feel better? That is what I used to do.

Thing #2 - You ate too much candy before?

Me - EVERY EASTER, it's almost a tradition.

Who wears the pants in this family?

Apparently it is Daisy!

Twice in a week she has stolen the same pair of my pants out of the laundry and put them in her bed. I took them out of her bed today and she barked at me in protest for 5 minutes. I have to figure out how to make her realize that I AM THE BOSS!

Take me out to the ball game

Thing #1 had his first baseball practice yesterday. He met the team and went to a batting cage for a little practice. He hadn't swung a bat in 4 years so I didn't expect much. He hit seven straight balls before he missed one. After batting a couple of times, he went into the parking lot to play catch. After about 5 minutes he took a ball in the face. He is gonna have a fat lip for a couple of days.

Self Incrimination

Me - What are you doing?!?!?
Thing #1 - Nothing
Thing #2 - What he said....
Me - I want an explanation right now!
Thing #1 - Were grounded aren't we?
Thing #2 - Nooooo, he doesn't know we were choking each other!
Me - No, I didn't, why don't you tell me now.
Thing #2 - How long am I grounded for?

I still dont know why they were fighting and no one is talking!

Second place is the first of the losers

so congratulations to Thing #1 for being the best loser in the pinewood derby!

Thanks Suburban Steve for the use of the tools and the help with the paintjob.

This is

the best mom ever!

Questions

Prior to getting our hair cut, Thing 1 and I had the following conversation:

Me - Come on, we are going to get our haircut.

Thing 1 - Why?

Me - Because I don't want us to look like a couple of hippies!

Thing 1 - What is a hippie?

Me - What I don't want us to look like.

Thing 1 - ??????

Me - Okay, question time is over get in the car.

Thing 1 - You never answer my questions.

Me - Sure I do, and some day when you are older, you will understand the answer.

Thing 1 - When will that be?

Me - Some day when you are older

Thing 1 - .........

You get a time out young lady!!!!

Parenting through excessive use of duct tape!

I just wonder what the stuffed animal did wrong?

How do you reduce a babies fever?

I guess putting it in the freezer is not an option. Would the refrigerator work?