What happened this weekend

I was in the airport when I got a phone call that went something like this:

me - Hello

wife - Honey, something wrong with Goldie. (or is it Goldy?)

me - What is she doing?

wife - She is laying on the bottom of the tank.

me - upright or belly up?

wife - on her side

me - That's not good, is she breathing?

wife - IF SHE WAS DEAD I WOULDN'T BE CALLING YOU!!!

me - Add one tablespoon of sea salt or kosher salt to the tank, per every 10 gallons and see if that helps

wife - okay

me - DON'T use table salt the iodine will kill the fish.

wife - I know, that is what the website says.

me - Then why did you call me?

wife - I wanted to make Thing 1 think you were involved.

me - oh.........Thanks, I think. If that doesn't perk her up, I will apply my cure or kill method of treating her when I get home.


Goldie or Goldy died. I spent the rest of the weekend giving preventative medication to the rest of the fish. No other casualties to report. My kids don't want me giving them their medicine anymore.