A weekend by the numbers

Number of -

Decks demolished - 2
Hot tubs removed - 1
Kids scared - 4
Chainsaws used - 2
Chainsaws broken - 1
Power tools used (electrical) - 2
Pounds of sledgehammers used - 28
Mummified cats found - 1
Bottomless* bits uncovered - 1
Hornets nests disturbed - 3
Ants in clothing - 10,000
Housing code violations - 4
Housing code violations solved - 3
Tree stumps still in need of removing - 1
Blades dulled - 4
Neighbors injured** - 2
Beers drank*** - 2

* Not really bottomless, more like 6 feet deep.
**Cuts that require bandages are technically injuries.
***I wished I drank more but then no work would have gotten done